Sunday, October 28, 2012
Ambrosia Kerr, or "Mama" as we affectionately called her, was not only a beacon of love, but a pillar of integrity to all who truly knew her.
Even in my earliest memories, her devotion to others- whether it was family, a neighbor, or even a complete stranger did not go unnoticed. Her kindness and generosity were not born just out of a strict sense of duty; it was simply her uncultivated, graceful nature. This trait was seen by many; throughout my years with her, I've seen as flight attendants, taxi drivers, stone-faced security guards, and virtually everyone else, become entranced by her warm smile and radiant charm.
Mama didn't just teach us life lessons; she showed us through her actions what her values and beliefs meant. She was unwilling to bend her values or sway her moral core for anything, or anyone, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness to do so. When she scolded us, it was more than just reflexive anger; she taught us how to correct our behavior.
"Be as wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove." "Haste-full waste, woeful want."
We all could understand what these sayings meant at face value, but not until venturing out into this cold world did these adages truly sink deep into our consciousness. Living in a world filled with mendacious, spiteful, and arrogant people; human beings for who profit and self-glorification are their sole motivators, this makes me infinitely grateful that I knew a woman, a matriarch of stalwart character, who possessed unconditional love.
Love that was transcendental, love you felt more than heard. A gentle kiss on the cheek, *Choops!* or the strong, steady grip she held on my arm as she pleaded, "Do! Do me son! Please no pick up strangah pan de side a de road! Me beg you!" That firm grip told me all Mama felt about me, and she maintained it, even as her health declined.
You could feel her love in her cooking as well. Whether it was Ackee & Saltfish with fried breadfruit and dumplings, or her confections: drops, cherry jam, or cornmeal pudding with the sweet "Mekke Mekke" on top, she enjoyed making us happy with her culinary prowess.
Ambrosia was not perfect; life for her was a series of trials and errors, as it is for all of us. What separates her from most is how she strived for perfection. In that attempt, she reached closer than most, if any, that I've met. But rest assured Mama, your values and memories didn't end with your passing, they are instilled in all of us, even if we falter from time to time.
My dear mother, who took care of her with love and extraordinary patience, Thank you. My aunts: Especially Auntie Phyllis; who was with her until the very end. As well as Auntie Dorothy, who also aided her throughout the years; my uncles, my nieces and nephews, and all of my cousins who knew her. Every one of us possesses all the beautiful aspects of Mama, bottled deep inside, and whether we realize it or not, our lives have been enriched greatly as a result.
As I tried to rush home to meet my great grandmother, filled with a desperate need to see her-to tell her one more time how much I loved her, I arrived only to find out I was too late. Words cannot describe my sorrow. Distraught, my sleepless, rainy night transitioned into a somber, gray, cloudy morning.
In a haze of despair, I started recalling the last time I spoke to Mama, saying our tearful goodbyes. I told her I appreciated everything she has done for me and how much I loved her. Gripping my arm with as much strength as she could muster, Mama said-
"Me know son, Me know…"
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